Sunday, August 14, 2016

Back to work

I went back to work last week for the second time, after deciding for the second time that I was going to find a different job. :) I had H during 4th year, started this job immediately after graduation, and the practice has changed A LOT since then. I decided not to go back after maternity leave when E was born, but then . . . . . . I did. I was a lot unhappier with it then than I am now, honestly, although people are leaving in droves right now so I'm not sure what the place will be like when everything settles down. I was doing more emergency work with a lunatic tyrant for a supervisor (the combination of ER work and the supervisor meant that I had stress colitis and needed medication to sleep at night) when E was born, and I do more general practice now and that supervisor is long gone. He actually announced his departure right before I went back after E was born, which was a big factor in my deciding to return . . . . . . that and inertia, if we're being honest with ourselves.

Anyway, I like most of the work I'm doing now, I like my bosses, I like my coworkers a lot, I like the facility, I like my clients, I love my schedule - I love working three 12-hour shifts a week because it means I get more time with the kids, and save a lot on childcare. The commute is pretty good. The pay is pretty good. I don't have to do surgery, which scares me, so that's a plus. There's a lot to like about it. Again, we'll see what it's like when everything settles down.

So Monday was my first day back, and it was pretty busy. I left the house at 7:15 AM and got home at 10:15 PM. I got to pump all 3 times I was supposed to, I wasn't seeing emergencies, it was nice to see everyone at work, it was REALLY nice to see patients again! I went to a goodbye party for a departing coworker a couple of weeks ago, and we were talking about work. We both agreed that while we may not always be crazy about our particular job, we love our profession, and that is very true - I can't imagine doing anything other than being a vet, and I love talking with clients and seeing patients. So it was really nice to do that again. But, of course I missed AQ like CRAZY!!! I'd never been away from her for more than 2 or 3 hours before (and that was only once, so I could go to the dentist) so that was a long time away from her. And working those kinds of hours requires some endurance that I've lost, so I need to get back into the swing of things. But overall it went well - I didn't see anything crazy, I got to work with all of my favorite nurses, I had some new consults, I got to dress up and wear makeup, I got to chat with adults without being interrupted every 6 seconds by one of the kids, it was nice to see my work buddies, and the kids did great at home. I was stuck late writing up records - while I was on leave, they changed our medical records system so that the note locks after 24 hours. I work non-consecutive days, so now I can never leave any records to write up during my next shift. It's uncommon in veterinary medicine to be scheduled any time for records and phone calls, from what I gather, so when it gets busy in the evening I might be left with 12-18 records to write up when I finish seeing appointments. Normally it's not that big a deal, but since so many of them were consults, which take forever to write, I was there pretty late.

So far I really like my new schedule, working non-consecutive days. I used to work Monday, Tuesday and Friday, so I would go from Sunday night til Wednesday morning without seeing the kids. I HATED that when E was a baby - it was really hard to be away from her for so long, other than one or two middle of the night feedings. So I love that no matter how long my day is, I'll have the whole day at home with them the next day.

I also LOVE having a nanny!!! We looked into daycare for AQ, but with 3 kids going 3 days a week, it was going to be about $2200 a month, which we couldn't afford. H also starts half-day kindergarten in September, so he'd need to be picked up after school and transported to after-care (which the school district doesn't provide). That means either all 3 kids would have to be in daycare near our house (and therefore his school), and that MM would have to leave work super early to get back here in time for pickup, since all the facilities close at 6 PM, or that the girls would have to be in one daycare and H would have to be in a different after-care, and then MM would somehow have to do 2 pickups, which would be even worse. So while I've loved the experience we had with daycare/preschool, and think it was wonderful for H and E to be with other kids their own age, in a semi-educational environment, the scheduling and finances just didn't work out with 3. I was really nervous looking for a nanny, but we ended up finding someone that I LOVE!!! We found her on one of the major childcare websites, and she had the best references I've ever heard for anyone in any kind of job, so I was really excited when we met her and everyone loved her. It made me feel so much better about having a nanny instead of daycare. The kids really love her, H and E get so excited to see her when she's coming over, and AQ did great with her bottles and naps and was reportedly happy all day long, so it's going really well so far!

And it's so nice for M to not have to rush through evening appointments to get to daycare in time for pickup, and then have hungry, tired children crying through the 35 minute drive home, and then have to get dinner ready when he gets here. The nanny feeds them dinner before he gets home at 7, and then he just does bath and bedtime. And they're not as crazy since they've been home all day, so it's working out beautifully so far. I feel bad that E will no longer have the kind of social interaction she had in daycare, and having H's 5th birthday party with a bunch of friends he's known since he was 10 weeks old made me feel guilty that she'll be in kindergarten before she really has a group of friends again!!! And AQ will never have that until she's in kindergarten! I'll have to look into joining a play group for them, I think.

Overall, it was a nice first week back. Busy but manageable. I missed the kids, especially AQ since I've never spent time away from her before, but I felt confident that the nanny was taking good care of them. I was tired at the end of the day, but not a frazzled exhausted mess. I like the work I do and enjoyed getting to do it again. I can't exactly say I'm entirely looking forward to going back tomorrow, but honestly part of me is! That's really nice.


Friday, July 1, 2016

Day in the Life - July 1, 2016

July 1, 2016

I'm 37 years old (almost 38!), DH is 39, H is 5 years old, E is 2.5 years old, and AQ is 10 weeks old.

6:40 AM - AQ wakes up to eat; she's been fidgeting and fussing in her crib and has scooted herself all the way to the foot of the crib so I know she's not going to go back to sleep. I've been awake most of the time since I last fed her at 4 AM, so I was really hoping to get another hour of sleep! Pick her up and start to nurse; she's more awake than usual at this time and is gazing at me and smiling a little half smile. :) She's also straining, which probably means she's working on a big poop! While I'm feeding her, MM comes in to get ready for work and we chat about how the night went. I'm bummed that I only got 5 hours of sleep (she also didn't fall asleep last night until almost 11, after starting bedtime at 8 PM - it was too late a start, and she had trouble staying awake to finish nursing, so she napped from 9-9:45 and then wanted to nurse again, and then was fussy for awhile) but partly that was due to my own inability to sleep. He says that he was still awake around 11 PM and heard her crying, but slept well after that.

6:50 AM - Put her back in the crib (actually a Pack & Play) and lay back down to hope for the best. A couple of minutes later hear gigantic poosplosions, which could mean a giant poop or could just be sound effects. Wait a few minutes to make sure she's done; MM walks over to the crib and mentions that she'll probably have a diaper leak - I share my theory about sound effects (sometimes I'm surprised by how little poop there actually is after a lot of noise, and sometimes the reverse). When it's been all clear for a couple of minutes I get up to check her diaper and, sure enough there's poop on her swaddle and sheet! Change her diaper in the crib to contain the mess, then move her to our bed while I change her crib sheet.

7:08 AM - Brush my teeth while AQ lays on our bed, kicking her legs and looking around. Admire her delicious rolls, which are gorgeously displayed since she's only wearing a diaper. Google "how old baby jogging" to verify my vague memory that she needs to be about 6 months old before I can take her jogging in the stroller, see that I was correct. I went for my first run in A YEAR on Wednesday, with Doodlebug in the single jogger, and did 2.25 miles at 11:40 pace with several short walking breaks. I struggle to even call that a run - I remember doing 10 milers at sub-8:00 pace just a few years ago; how far the mighty have fallen! :) I know it's a lot harder to run pushing a toddler in a stroller, but dude. It felt good to get out and move, though - walking just isn't nearly the same - and I want to go for another run. I guess I'll wait til tomorrow and take E again. MM and the kids come in while I'm brushing my teeth; E is clutching Green Baby and a toy bottle and says "Want to say goodbye!". I tell her I'm coming downstairs in just a minute, so we don't have to say goodbye yet. H is wearing his Pikachu hat and smiles and gives me a good morning kiss. :) They both want to hug and kiss AQ, so H climbs up on the bed to hover over her while E stands next to the bed. MM supervises - they can get a little excited. :)

7:15 AM - Take AQ downstairs where H and E are eating breakfast (waffle and Rice Chex for H, toast and frozen blueberries for E, milk for both). They're both dressed already - E picked out her own khaki shorts and gray T-shirt with an applique fox holding an umbrella on the front, and H is wearing blue athletic shorts and a white T-shirt with a flag design on the front that he decorated in school on Tuesday, and his Pikachu hat. :) Kiss them both again, put AQ in her swing, and filter the iced coffee concentrate. Make coffees for MM and me, and start making H's lunch. E will get the school lunch today (pizza Fridays!) but H has decided he doesn't like their pizza, so he's getting a sunbutter and jelly sandwich. I also give him a cheddar cheese stick, an apple and spinach puree pouch, and a tiny brownie. He's been eating a ton lately and I think he's having a growth spurt, so at the last minute I throw in a second cheese stick after futilely searching the kitchen for something else to include that's both healthy and which he'll eat. I need to go grocery shopping today! I ask him if he still likes hummus, and he says yes. H tells E to try to get his pokeball, and she (wisely knowing he'll yank it away at the last second) says, "No, I can't!" but he ends up letting her grab it and they both laugh. I mention to MM that I might make a Mediterranean quinoa salad for my dinner and eat before they get home so I can try an early bedtime for AQ tonight, and ask if he wants the spinach, quinoa, chicken, and roasted grape salad again that I made a couple of nights ago (he doesn't like tomatoes or cucumbers, which are the whole point of the Mediterranean salad) and he says sure. I'm not sure what I'll make for the kids, who like neither quinoa nor salad - probably chicken nuggets and fruit. Again.

7:40 AM - AQ is happily kicking away in her swing, watching all of us. Alexa (the Echo) is playing our Pandora Brandenburg Concertos radio station. H is running around in his Pikachu hat, and decides to fire his pokeball at AQ, telling us he captured her in it and isn't going to let her out! I say, "Oh no! Does that mean you're going to take her with you to school today?" He says, "Yes! She has to go to daycare!" I tell him that I'll miss her. He goes over to the swing and gives her "one hug and two kisses". :) MM tells the kids it's time to go upstairs to brush their teeth, and I pick AQ up from her swing and ask MM to take a picture of H and me together - he does, then H gives AQ a hug and I ask him to take a picture of that, too. They go upstairs to brush their teeth, and I feed L, then walk around with AQ who is getting tired and doesn't want to be in the swing anymore.

7:55 AM - MM and the kids come back downstairs and E climbs back up onto her chair to eat some more toast. I brush her hair and put her shoes on for her (she can do it herself, but they need to leave and she's still eating). Sit on the floor with AQ and ask H for a hug and kiss goodbye, he gives me one and then asks for a "kiss on swirl" so I kiss the back of his neck where he has a little swirl of hair. :) He also gives AQ a hug and kiss goodbye, then sits on my lap. E climbs down from her chair with Green Baby and asks if she can sit on my lap too, and I say of course! There's a spot for her on my left leg, just in front of AQ. MM takes a picture of all of us together. :) H nibbles on AQ's arm and says, "I'm eating her arm rolls, because they're rolls!"

8:05 AM - Kiss MM and the kids goodbye, and they leave (late) for daycare. Take AQ into the living room and change her diaper (she pooped again!) and nurse her. She's very sleepy and is falling asleep on me, then fussing because she's tired. She is so sweet - she's still just wearing a diaper because it's so warm, and I squeeze her arm and leg rolls, and watch her little sleepy face while her eyes get heavier and heavier.

8:15 AM - When she's done nursing I take her upstairs and turn on her white noise, put her in her Love to Dream swaddle, sing her nap time song a couple of times while we walk around the room (Good night Mommy, good night L, good night sunshine, it's time for AQ's nap! Good night AQ, good night AQ, good night AQ, it's time to take your nap! Good night baby, good night Dumpling, good night darling, it's time to take your nap!) and put her in the crib. Turn on her Angel Care movement monitor and baby monitor. She immediately starts crying (she's overtired at this point - she's been up since 6:30 and usually goes back down for a nap after 60-75 minutes of wake time) but I leave the room to see if she'll settle herself. After 3 minutes she's still crying, so I go back in and reassure her, rest one hand on her chest and pat her butt with the other hand, and tell her it's just nap time and she's so sleepy, she'll feel much better after a nap. After 3 minutes of that she's still crying so I say goodnight and leave the room again (for the past couple of weeks I've noticed that my attempts to console her when she cries at naptime just wind her up more, and if I leave the room she usually settles herself and falls asleep within 3 minutes) and she's asleep 2 minutes later at 8:30 AM.

8:30 AM - I go downstairs and drink the last sip of my iced coffee, and make myself another one (decaf this time). This stuff is seriously addictive! Throw a load of laundry in the washer (including the poopy swaddle and crib sheet from this morning). One bonus about maternity leave is always being caught up on the laundry - when I'm working, the hamper (a jumbo U-Haul moving box) is always at least half full, and there's always a big pile of clean but unfolded laundry in front of the dryer. Check the checking account balance since I know a few bills are coming out today, check my work email, decide to start this post. Write until I finish my iced coffee then make another decaf - that was the last of my cold coffee, so I'll have to switch to lemonade or something after this. :)

9:20 AM - AQ is crying after 45 minutes of nap; sometimes she'll put herself back to sleep so I keep writing and wait to see what she does. 5 minutes later she's still upset, so I go get her up from nap. I say hello and cuddle her for a few minutes, then put her in the Ergo, hoping for a nap extension. Leash L up and we set out on a walk. It takes 20 or 30 minutes, but AQ does fall asleep, and sleeps for 45 minutes during the walk, waking up when we get home.

10;58 AM - We walked for about an hour, and I'm very sweaty when we get back - it's really humid! L drinks a ton of water and flops on the floor for a nap. AQ nurses well, and I debate whether or not I want to go to the grocery store. I finally decide to do it (partially motivated by a craving for Chick-Fil-A) and buckle AQ into the detested car seat - she actually calms down pretty quickly and is content all the way to the grocery store! We stop at Chick-Fil-A and I get a number 1 meal (the classic!) and eat half the fries on the way to the store.

12:30 PM - AQ falls asleep in her car seat, which is on the shopping cart - she never falls asleep in the car seat! Maybe she's really tired from being up late last night. She sleeps for the last 25 minutes or so of the shopping trip (we're there for awhile - I have to peruse all the produce, looking for ripe-ish fruit that's in good shape, we need things from every department, and I end up backtracking a few times.

1 PM - Leave the grocery store. AQ is calm on the way home, I unload the car and put the frozen food and meat away, and then we sit on the couch so she can nurse and hopefully take a boob snooze! I love holding her after she falls alseep nursing (during the afternoon - in the middle of the night I like when she sleeps in her crib!). I check the mail, and my notebooks from May Designs arrived! They're so beautiful - I'm currently using a Simplified Planner, which I like a lot in general but which doesn't have enough space for notes. I want to tuck one of these notebooks in the front cover for lists and maybe journaling. I think next year I'm going to do a bullet journal instead of a formal planner.

2:23 PM - AQ has fallen asleep in my arms. :) She ends up sleeping until 5:15! She wakes up a couple of times to nurse, but drops right back off to sleep. I watch the pilot of Orphan Black on Amazon instant video - it's really good! Since she's sound asleep, I also watch the following 2 episodes. I haven't watched any tv since I finished the 3rd season of The Americans a few weeks ago (I don't feel like buying the 4th season so I'm waiting for it to be free, which will be awhile).

5:15 PM - Finally I wake AQ up, since she can only be awake for 60-90 minutes, I need to either let her sleep for another hour so she can make it to an early bedtime, or wake her up now so she can squeeze in another cat nap before bed. My butt is completely asleep from sitting in one position for 3 hours, and I'm afraid that if she does a super long stretch of sleep now, then she won't sleep well tonight, so I wake her up. She's sound asleep and a little grumpy, but quickly cheers up - she's a very happy baby in general. She sits in her swing in the kitchen while I assemble dinner (mostly leftovers, and a Mediterranean quinoa salad using leftover quinoa).

6:10 PM - Put AQ in her crib for a short nap. She falls asleep right away and I move the laundry from the washer to the dryer, then look at Instagram for a few minutes.

6:45 PM - MM arrives home with the kids! H knocks on the door and then crouches down to hide, so I open it and look around in mock confusion, asking "Who's there?" and he pops up and surprises me. :) He's wearing his Pikachu hat, and tells me he wore it at daycare today. E runs in and proudly tells me "I share with Daddy!" I ask her what she shared, and she tells me it was her pretzels. She says, "Mommyyyyy!" and hugs my legs, and I crouch down and give her a big hug and kiss. MM helps them wash their hands, and I ask them if they want to go upstairs with me to wake AQ up from her nap. They both go upstairs, and I turn off the white noise and gently rub AQ's belly, telling her it's time to wake up. She opens her eyes and smiles at me, stretching, and H leans over the side of the Pack & Play and says hello to her - she sees his Pikachu hat and starts crying! I scoop her up and tell him it's okay, I think she was just scared of his hat.

7 PM - We all sit down to eat dinner; I nurse AQ first so I start eating when everyone else is almost done. MM and I have a spinach and quinoa salad with roasted grapes and a honey lemon dressing, a Mediterranean quinoa salad, and some leftover chicken salad made with yogurt, olives, apples and celery. The kids have half a banana, some of the Mediterranean salad, peanut butter and crackers. H asks me what my favorite vegetable is and I say I think artichokes, although that's a tough one. I ask him his favorite and he says, "Broccoli, of COURSE, because it's the best." Then he asks my favorite fruit, and I think probably mango or pineapple, although that's also hard. He says, "Mine is strawberries! And blueberries, because they look like police lights!" AQ goes into her bouncy seat on the table after she's done nursing, and I eat my dinner.

7:40 PM - After we're all done, MM takes the kids up for bath, and I take AQ up for bedtime - it's later than I like to put her to bed (it seems like bedtime before 7:30 seems to go better) but I'm hoping the late nap will make up for it. She nurses pretty well for a few minutes, then gets fussy, but after a big burp she latches back on. When she starts crying her tired cry I change her into pajamas and put her swaddle on, turn on her white noise, and she's smiling at me and looks wide awake so we chat for a few minutes - she coos and gurgles and smiles at me. :) She nurses again and falls asleep on me.

8:15 PM-  I give AQ to MM so he can try to burp her while I say good night to the kids. I say goodnight to E first, and she asks where AQ is - I tell her she's with Daddy, and E smiles. I give her a kissing hand, put it on her cheek, and say goodnight. She asks for Green Baby, so I run back downstairs and retrieve her and her bottle from the toy stroller. Then I go in to say goodnight to H, and he asks for "down lows and up highs", which we do every night. He goes first and does down low, up high, down low (too slow!), up high (too slow!), here is the church, here is the steeple, here is the bell tower, here is the chimney, open the doors and see the two people! Then we do a double thumb war, then a double pinky war, then cut the pickle. I do a similar routine, with a little bit of dancing thrown in. We kiss each other on the cheek, I kiss his swirl, and wish him sweet dreams.

8:30 PM - I retrieve AQ from MM, and she's been crying for a couple of minutes. I nurse her again, she falls asleep on me again, and I sing Love You Forever and put her in the Pack & Play at 8:49 PM.

8:50 PM - I go downstairs to pump, and put away the dinner leftovers. Pump about 7 ounces, clean up the kitchen a little bit, pack the cooler bag with milk bottles for MM to give her tonight (while I sleep!) She sleeps until 9:30 and wakes up crying, and MM tries to give her a bottle (she refuses), tries to burp her (no luck), puts her back in the crib and pats her for a few minutes, and then cycles through all those options again a couple more times until she finally falls asleep at 10:23 PM.

9:30 PM - Go to sleep (on the couch, this is where the "off duty" parent sleeps so that AQ doesn't wake them up, and because MM snores like a chainsaw - I want him to do a sleep study to make sure he doesn't have apnea) after looking at Instagram and Facebook for a few minutes.

4:00 AM - Wake up hot, get up to pee, lay back down without the covers, hear AQ crying. She stops a few minutes later so I figure MM is giving her a bottle, and try to go back to sleep. A few minutes later she's crying again, and it sounds like she's winding up instead of settling down. Debate whether I should let MM try to work it out on his own, or whether I should go help him - with H and E, sometimes my "help" just interfered and he usually wanted to do it himself, and said that he'd ask for help if he needed it, which is fair. She's been a little resistant to the bottle lately and I wonder if she might want to nurse, which also will sometimes calm her down when she's too upset for other comforting. End up going upstairs around 4:40 AM, she's freaking out so I nurse her, walk around and sing to her, nurse her again, and she eventually falls asleep on me so I put her back in the crib. MM and I talk about possible approaches for middle of the night wakings, and the fact that since I spend so much more time with her (especially since I'm still on maternity leave) I can "read" her better than he can, although we both find her a little harder to interpret than we did H or E - it's not as obvious when she's over-tired vs hungry, for example. I go back to sleep for a couple more hours.

I wanted to include photos with this post! But since I talk about work sometimes, I guess I should keep it anonymous. I also wanted to have this finished in time for a round-up on a blog I read regularly, but I missed the deadline! Maybe next time.